A new year...

Hello readers! Hope you all survived the holidays. This time of year can be very difficult and lonely for many of us, especially if struggling with abuse or any other of life's hardships. All the more reason to think upon the good things, however small they may be or even if they are yet to come. Believe me, I know it's hard. I am currently trying with all my might not to get pulled down into the tornado of crap swirling around me.

So let's focus on the New Year, shall we? Ok. New Years is often about reflection of the past year and finding new ways to improve yourself or finally taking action on things you've been putting off. Its also about being thankful for the time and the experiences you've had in which you have learned and grown and generally having a fresh start. Many make New Year's Resolutions, vowing to change something in their lives. It's safe to say that I've pretty much done a little of all of that already this year. Certainly made many changes and taken many steps towards improving my and my daughter's life, being very grateful for the tiny blessings, many lessons, and wallowing in the growing pains. Though things are still tough, I am trying to remember that it could be worse and definitely has been worse.

Interestingly enough, I've never actually made a New Year's Resolution. Obviously not because I never thought there was anything for me to change or that I don't think it's a good idea. I guess I just never thought that New Years needed to be the day to do that. Change is hard enough. Making a special occasion for it kinda just adds more pressure especially if you find later that you're not following through. There's a line in one of my favorite childhood movies, Anne of Green Gables (also books, but I'm better at watching then reading), where Anne says, "tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it." I'd rather try and start each new day afresh and try to strive DAILY to be better.

But since it is New Years today, it is a good excuse to take a quick look-see at how I can be better tomorrow and in this coming year.

#1 Be a better mom
Be someone she can always look up to, can always turn to and will grow up being proud of. Teach by example, follow through, be more patient, pick my battles wisely, and remember to enjoy every minute instead of taking things so seriously.

#2 Be a better daughter
 Be kinder, more understanding, picking my battles, biting my tongue, and letting go.

#3 Be a better friend
Keeping in touch, being available, and giving back.

#4 Be an all together better me
Strive for more patience, be more considerate, remember the serenity prayer and worry less, Trust God more, let go, relax more, have more fun, make more art, and help more people. Don't beat myself up if I don't do it all just perfectly! And allow myself to dream always for a better tomorrow and know that it can and will happen.

Hope you all succeed in making your lives better this year too! Love. Think. Feel. Speak. Be free!

Hannah Bee