Greetings readers. Sorry for being silent for over a month now. I've been thinking a lot about things I want to share but for some reason been having trouble putting things into print the past month. So anyhow, since my last post was about Mother's Day, it's only fair that this next one includes Father's Day. I have to admit that in recent years, Father's Day gives me mixed feelings due to my very complicated feelings around my daughter's father. But there are good father figures to focus on in my life too, most specifically my own father, and then of course there's our Father who art in Heaven. And since I have also been wanting to finish my First annual letter to my daughter, gonna combine the two again. Here goes.
To my little one, Part two: A father's tale.
First, I want to apologize for every hardship you have had to endure and for not being able to protect you from it all...As much as I'd like to think I have things under control, I have realized as you will one day that life does not always turn out the way you expect or want it to. I wish I could go back and change some things if I could, but at the same time, I have always believed that the unexpected hardships we go through make us stronger and perhaps give us an opportunity to become better, and also help others through our experiences. You are still too young to understand many things, though you seem to get so much more than I think you should. There are so many things I wish I could tell you and explain to you but can't just yet...one day when you are grown, you can ask me, and hopefully I can give you the answers you seek. Until then, I hope what I have offered to you has been sufficient enough. By the time you get to reading this though, I hope all I am trying to say will mean something and start to make sense.
In a couple of days it will be Father's Day. I wanted to take this opportunity to share with you a little about my father's story. In it, along with my own story which you will one day also know, you will learn that you come from a family who has endured much, struggled much to get to where they are, and in the midst of it all had much faith, and persevered to give their children a better life.
You may already have a good sense of this, but just to be clear, my dad, your grandfather is a great man. He grew up in the 1940's and 50's (yes, a long time ago) in a very oppressive time and place, under the rule of a Communist country. Where he lived, they had no tolerance for free thinkers, and least of all for anyone who believed in God or wanted to share their faith. My grandfather was a minister, and so my dad, his parents and siblings were persecuted for their beliefs and from the time he was a child, he and his family were in and out of camps for people who were considered dissidents and enemies of the state. Sometimes they were separated from each other and didn't know when they would be able to see each other again. My dad suffered greatly during these times, and even when "free" from the camps, lived in deep poverty, scrounging for food, and often didn't even have shoes to wear. He has a Masters degree now, but growing up as the eldest son, he gave up his education quite early in his teens so he could find work to help feed his family. Through it all, his faith gave him hope, strength and courage, keeping him alive. My dad eventually escaped, literally. He left the country of his birth and with the help of those in the church, he started a new life, whereby he met my mother, and then came here to the US to really have a chance to live free. Because of his sacrifices, and his willingness to always stand up for what he believed in spite of hardship, both you and I are also able to be free.
So these are the things I wish and hope for you...
I hope that you will one day find a true partner in life that you can love and respect, who loves and respects you back, cares for you, and is able to inspire you like my dad has done for his family. I want you to always know how valuable you are. I want you to remember how much you are worth. Not because of your looks, your talents or abilities or what you have to offer to others, but because God gave you worth even back when you were growing inside me. Know that I love you more than anything else in this world and will always try my best to teach you and help you to live the best life you can live. Don't ever settle for just anything. Don't ever let anyone make you compromise your values, your beliefs or give up the best parts of yourselves for them. Love others and be good to others, but don't forget to take care of yourself. I know you will be wonderful at whatever you put your mind to. Even at two, you are amazingly intelligent, beautiful inside and out, oh so articulate and full of joy. Don't forget...don't forget...don't forget!
My prayer for you, today and everyday is this. That you would know the love of the Lord. For people may fail you, but He will not. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. This is my prayer for myself too. I love you!
Mama Bee
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